In my experiences I have come across many a person that seems to apologize for even the slightest thing that goes wrong in a day. This type of individual is usually someone who works for someone else (non-independent type job), is some sort of paid or unpaid intern/extern, or is a student. These types of people tell their significant other, their boss, the cashier at Walgreens, a driver who cut them off, their friend(s), their pets even that they are sorry for the slightest things. YES, if someone does not work out in the ideal way that you had it pictured in your mind, then we have a slight instance of what I call the “oh shit” feeling.
Let’s say someone cuts you off on the highway because you are going slowly in what is supposed to be the quick lane, the left lane. But you did not technically do anything wrong did you? Sure, you going slow was not ideal for the driver behind you and maybe you did not realize in time that the person behind you wanted to go super-fast and you were not able to be kind to them and let them pass. So they cut you off. Then why are you saying sorry to them?
Let’s take another example, your boss at work told you that you brought him/her their coffee/lunch order wrong, or that the cashier at Walgreens (for example, Walgreens employees are usually very nice to me) gives you a look for taking too long to pack up your wallet or to find your money to pay and they are already wanting to call the next customer down, or that you are telling your significant other a story that is taking too long and you notice them sort of wavering in interest. Sure, some of these things may technically be your fault…but WHO CARES!
I admit I have been one of those people at one time as well, but I found a shift in myself one day and decided to change. Saying you’re sorry all the time like some people do implies and conditions yourself to think that there is something inherently wrong with you. Well guess what, I am willing to bet that there is nothing actually wrong with you. Maybe you are not the best at ordering fancy Starbucks coffees, maybe you are not the best at having your money ready to pay at the cashier, or maybe you talk a little bit too long sometimes…OH WELL.
There is nothing wrong with saying you are sorry, but be sure careful and sure about when you use that phrase. Saying it too often can lead to negative self-talk. Be sorry when you really feel that you truly did someone wrong in a way that they need you to say I am sorry to feel connected to you again. All the examples I gave above are simplistic problems that happen in everyday life that if those around you cannot get over without still being nice to you, then they are a bit needy and should really work on their own confidence.
Someone who is truly happy does not need to chastise someone else for simple things that they did not do right, a happy person would not care and would treat that individual with kindness instead of showing how they are right and how you were wrong. Also, a happy person does not need to apologize or say sorry to everything that they may possibly do wrong in a days work. Their confidence will exceed the need to placate someone else’s EGO by apologizing at every corner for things that really do not need apologizing for.
Live. Love. Laugh. And Be Happy.
— Greek Guru Guy